Happiness

Original post date: Friday, November 02, 2007


Happiness

"HAPPINESS ONLY REAL WHEN SHARED" - Christopher Johnson MacCandless

That was written a few days before he died in an abandoned bus turned shelter in the Alaskan wilderness. He chose to be there. It was a simple mistake that caused him to die there.

There is such truth to that statement that I had to share it with you.

I broke a lot of rules tonight, well not a lot, but a few.

1. I went to a movie by myself (not my rule societies rule, and I like breaking that one.)
2. I saw a movie based on a book that I am actually reading. But I didn't finish the book before I saw the movie. (I like to have all my visuals in my head before someone else puts theirs in my head.)
3. Cried in public. (Once again - societies rule. I knew how this movie was going to end but the points in between were amazingly insightful.)

After the movie I sat in my car and listened to the soundtrack...I didn't know about this movie until I was in book store and heard Eddie Vedder singing and I asked the clerk what album it was from because I had never heard it before. She showed me and I bought it on the spot and then read the liner notes and saw it was from a movie based on a book. I then went back to another book store and bought the book.

Where was I ... oh yeah. In my car after the movie. My windows were down and my seat was reclined about halfway. I could hear the buzz of the power lines above me in between songs. The lights from the parking lot were so bright I sat there with my eyes shut as the music encapsulated my brain. Taking me on a tour of images from the movie and my own existence. I could hear four ladies who just saw the movie as well "It was so sad that he died at the end, but did they have to show him starve to death?" I could see them in the parking lot and they slowly made it to the car next to mine. We were the only cars parked on that side of the lot and I think that they were a bit scared to walk to their car since a lone man was in the car a few feet from them. But they ventured to an unknowable outcome and realized that fear is a good thing but we shouldn't let it control our lives.

So there I sat, not doing anything, but seeing myself walk out of school and walking down the road and not turning back...what Chris MacCandless did was actually a dream of mine. I guess he had more direction for lack of direction than I did. But it also caused him to die. But we all do that anyway right?

I am rambling so with that I will say goodnight and go to bed - I get to clean out the garage tomorrow...I know you are excited for me - it will be an adventure in of itself!